I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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