he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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