I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize