His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
