Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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