He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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