The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
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