so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
