we have officially lost it.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Randomize
