I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
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Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
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It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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