Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
