Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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