I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
