ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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