Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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