why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
