it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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