I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
