i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
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