I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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