cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
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There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
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correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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