My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
