ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
