i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
