we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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