its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
