I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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