its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
