This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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