Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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