I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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