my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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