doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize