And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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