Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
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dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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