i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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