Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
