oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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