But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
so much tequila, so little girl.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
