Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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