I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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