Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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