Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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