I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
