Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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