He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
