when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
