never play flip cup with pint glasses
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
And my parents said I crawled through the house
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
