GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
