TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Randomize
