im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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