Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
