: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
