I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
