my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize