look no pants
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
