We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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