her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
