She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Alive.
So much puke
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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